Category: sex

image

Last week I wrote a post about sex, marriage, intimacy, seduction, habits, and courage. It was definitely one of my more personal posts and I will not lie and tell you guys that I didn’t have a hard time hitting “publish”. Luckily, just two days before that I wrote a post all about bikini waxing so I guess I was still feeling some residual bravery.

Apparently I’m becoming conditioned (or maybe you guys are) to just going ahead and telling you guys everything. It’s like my internet-self has gotten confused with my that-third-drink-may-as-well-have-been-truth-serum-self and I just say it like it is now.

Either way, I did hit publish and I was quite surprised and encouraged by the response. It was the most read post I’ve ever written and I got a lot of private messages and comments of the “Me too!” and the “Yes. Thank you for saying this” variety. Which only confirms that you guys are seriously the best and coolest and we really do get each other. I knew I could trust you guys. I just knew it.

One of my writing friends, Melody Reid, who happens to be a fellow Clumsy Blogger wrote a post in response to my own, sharing her perspective and insights on the subject and I wanted to share it with you guys. Melody is wise and she has quite a few more years of marriage under her belt than I do. She handled this delicate subject matter quite gracefully, while still being honest and vulnerable. I enjoyed hearing her thoughts and I think you will too.

Here is a bit of Melody’s response- it’s just a teaser really, so I encourage you to read the full article here

Read More…

image

We said nothing was off the table, right? When we started this writing challenge we said we’d keep it real. We even said we’d talk about sex…

While I wouldn’t exactly qualify myself as a sexpert, I have been having sex with one person for a very long time. Thirteen years to be exact. There are a few things I do know. So let’s talk.

In the spirit of transparency I suppose I should tell you that the first time my husband and I had sex was on our wedding night. We were both virgins until then. Maybe you find that storyline to be antiquated or shocking or unbelievable. Maybe you don’t. Either way, it’s our real story so we may as well start at the beginning.

Of course it wasn’t even remotely easy but we did manage to wait, and there is really only one thing I want to say about that: It can be done, and it can be beautiful. We were able to freely give ourselves to each other without one bit of doubt, guilt, or hesitation. There was only passion and an unflagging joy between us that night. We belonged to each other in every way, and the fact that he is only for me is something I treasure still.

As you can imagine we spent the first portion of our marriage making up for lost time. There was no shortage of seduction on either side. We were finally here, and we were ready to party if you know what I mean. It was simple. It was good.

Cue video montage of life happening in fast forward. Moves. Jobs. Kids. Pets. Different jobs. More moves. If you’re not careful your regular life will take over your sex life and you’ll be less busy gettin’-busy, and more just busy in general. And, well, that just doesn’t sound like very much fun, does it?

Much like any other married couple, over the years we’ve had ups and downs and over time we’ve fallen into patterns. After all, we are creatures of habit, yes? After a certain amount of time, we became a foregone conclusion with each other. We know each other’s signals. We know what to expect from each other. We know each other’s bodies and how they work.

This can be a double edged sword. Read More…