She used to yell it to me through my television screen at least twice a week:
“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable! Right now, this moment! This is when it counts! When you’re tired and you don’t think you can do it and you want to give up- THIS is when you make change happen!”
It turns out there’s more to learn from Jillian Michaels than how to simply not die during a high intensity cardio session.
Remember when we talked about how sometimes creative work feels impossible? I confessed that I’d gotten to “the hard part” of my project and how I’m learning to sit in that tension instead of struggle against it?
Well I thought “the hard part” was being brave.
Brave enough to step out, brave enough to share that journey with you, and brave enough to be honest about it along the way.
Because all creative work requires bravery.
We know this.
We love to talk about the bravery because it’s noble and grand, but we don’t speak much of the aftermath that almost always follows. The wake of those unsorted and far less noble feelings of confusion, doubt, and disorientation that come after the bravery.
The questions of, “Wait, did I do that right?
Should I be embarrassed right now?
Was that really true and helpful? Did I hit my mark?
Or was it self indulgent and foolish and cringeworthy?
There is a natural ebb and flow to the creative process, but because I am so new to all of it, riding that wave often leaves me feeling a bit seasick.
See, my whole life I operated under the assumption (the lie) that I’m simply not a creative person. I wasn’t even mad about it, really. It was okay. “It just wasn’t my bag, baby.” (Name that movie.)
But in the last couple of years as I’ve woken up to my creative self and begun to pursue my dream of writing, I’ve wrestled long and hard with all the wonky feelings that accompany such a process.
I am DOING THE THING.
I’m bravely entering the creative arena.
I’m boldly claiming my words as my gift, my calling, and my art.
I’m out there leaving my blood, sweat, and tears on the ground.
So why isn’t it getting easier? Wasn’t I supposed to have a thicker skin by now? Why do fear and uncertainty almost always pull me back after a sure step forward? Read More…