The story we tell ourselves ABOUT ourselves is a powerful thing.
Whether it applies to our health & fitness, parenting, marriage, our creative pursuits, or any other area of our lives, the inner narrative playing out in our heads affects our actions so much more than we think.
Why?
Because our thoughts dictate our actions, our actions dictate our habits, and our habits dictate our daily life.
Sometimes we operate from damaging mindsets without even realizing it.
The good news? If you’re stuck in a negative cycle of thinking, YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY THERE!
You can get off the ride and go in a new direction.
I so wish I was the kind of person who always saw the glass as half-full. You know the type. The eternal optimists. The joyful people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m generally a pretty happy person and Lord knows I value laughter almost more than I should. I’m a fun-haver is what I’m saying. I’m certainly not all doom and gloom.
But as an enneagram 4 I tend to live pretty far inside my own head and I have this built-in sense of longing. I have an (annoying) ability to look at a situation and immediately see what’s missing from the it.
Sometimes this is a good thing because it drives me towards a better way of operating. Other times it’s a bit of a problem because I have a hard time focusing on the good that IS there.
Over the last few years I’ve done some pretty deep work around my mindset. Weirdly enough this inner work started by working on my butt. (We’re rabbit-trailing here, but stick with me. I promise I’ll circle back around to the point.)
For years I’ve struggled deeply in the health & fitness arena. I’ve always cared about feeling good in my body, but it was an endless pain point for me. For almost a decade I gained and lost weight like it was my JOB or something. I could never seem to find the elusive “balance” people love to talk about.
I finally realized that after years of yo-yo-ing that I’d never actually stopped to address the underlying narrative that I was operating from. Every time I lost the weight I’d immediately go back to “normal” and pack it all back on plus some.
I knew something had to change it had to start with my mindset around this area of my life.
It wasn’t until I did the hard work of writing a new narrative for myself that I was able to find freedom and balance where there was once tumult and shame.
Instead of telling myself the same boring story of how “I just can’t give up my favorite food” or “I’m not a finisher” or “I just don’t have that self discipline gene that some people have”, I decided that JUST ONCE I was going to participate in a new story.
Just once I was going to commit to my wellness and I was NOT GOING TO QUIT. No matter how many times I blew it or got off track. No matter how long it took me. No more on/off. No more all or nothing. No more confirming all my lame suspicions about myself because I was just too scared to really commit and then fail. Because honestly? I couldn’t take one more failure.
So for once I told myself I was going to finish my workout program no matter what. And then an interesting thing happened.
I DID.
That internal pivot changed everything for me around my health and fitness because I realized that I could take ownership of this area of my life. That I get to choose how I want to show up for myself. So I tested out this new trick. And then I did it again. And again.
I could tell you all about the programs I’ve done since then, the 40 lbs I’ve lost, and the passion I now have for helping other women come home to themselves and learn to the love the body they live in, but that’s not what this post is about.
Not really.
It’s not even about the physical changes I’ve experienced.
It’s just a handy illustration of how much power our mindset has over how we experience our actual, daily life.
The crazy thing is that all it takes is that ONE time of actually succeeding and all those old theories are silenced. All it takes is ONE time of committing to something and actually seeing it through and just like that we’ve created a new pathway in our brain.
And the next time we come back to that path we are making it a little wider, a little smoother for ourselves to return to.
The mind is like a muscle and the more we exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand (sorrynotsorry for the fitness pun).
This isn’t some post all about manifesting everything you ever wanted with your mind- but it is a post about taking ownership of your thought patterns.
We can’t always control our circumstances. We can’t always control negative thoughts and feelings when they pop up uninvited, but we DO have some level of self control over whether or not we’ll entertain them.
Over on the podcast this week we chatted all about HOW we can let go of harmful narratives and practice moving towards a healthier, more positive mindset so we can show up in the world in a way that feels right and rings true to our values.
I’ve learned this over and over in recent years, but guess what? It’s still messy and difficult. It’s not like we can just flip some switch and then operate from this new mode 100% of the time. It takes practice, it takes honesty, and it takes patience- mostly with ourselves.
Maybe there’s an area of your life where you’re participating in a story that doesn’t serve you anymore. Here’s to getting OFF the ride, sister, and going in a new direction.
I’m here, cheering you on.
If you want to listen in to our convo on the podcast, CLICK HERE!
*this was sent from my computer and my heart*
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