I think we need to talk.
Don’t freak out, it’s nothing bad. It’s just…
Remember what we said when we started this whole thing? We said this was when we’d get down to the nitty-gritty. We’ve been through a lot together, you and I. There was that time that we almost broke up because country music forced us to do things against our will. We didn’t even speak for two weeks after that. There was the whole pregnancy scare. You really stood by my side through all of that. You didn’t even point out my displaced worry about saving 35 cents when I bought the generic brand of pregnancy test- because clearly 35 cents matters when one little stick can change the entire course of your life. You get that.
We have a lot of history. We know each other well by now.
We said this would be the like that part of the relationship where we lock ourselves in a room and we don’t leave until we’ve asked all of the questions and said all of the things- and we’d either emerge stronger or…well we’d just emerge stronger.
We’re in the thick of it right now, arent we? This writing challenge could make or break us. We’re in too deep to turn back, but we don’t quite see the way out yet either.
We’re both tired. I’m walking around in a fog. I think they call it a vulnerability hangover. You’re starting to get tired of hearing my voice. You’re maybe finding that my charm has worn off and you’re wondering if you really see yourself with me long-term. We’re looking each other in the eye and we’re asking the hard questions.
Back when I was in bible college people called this a “DTR”. You know, one of those “Determine The Relationship” conversations. Are we casual? Is this a fling? Are we committed to each other? Does one of us want out? Are we still attracted to each other? Is it meant to be?
I just want to say that whatever you decide, I’m here. I’m in it. I’m committed to us. You’re it for me, baby.
If this doesn’t work out, I’m gonna have to have a fling with a different hobby. Maybe ballroom dancing or fly fishing or something- I don’t even know. Nothing makes sense to me if this doesn’t work out.
But I will be okay. I’ll figure it out. I only want it if it’s meant to be. My cards are on the table.
* This is Day 18 of a 31 Day series on Keeping It Real. You can find all of the posts in this series here. I hope you follow along and join the conversation! *